Series One - Why Run? podcast - 20 March 2022

In the summer of 2020 after the  first COVID-lockdown restrictions were lifted, Coco met a new guy. The  relationship developed quickly and intensively, as they’d both been on their own for three months. It soon became clear though, that things were not good. 

He became  controlling about how she looked, what they ate, what they did. On one occasion, he was physically violent, and it was then that Coco ended the relationship after four months. But events were far from over. 

Coco soon discovered that her ex-partner had reported her to the police, accusing her of trying to hack some accounts on his phone and of malicious communication.

Keen to put the record straight, Coco went to the police station and explained what had happened. Instead of being recognised as a victim of domestic abuse, she instead found herself arrested, handcuffed and viewed as a potential criminal. She was kept at the police station for ten hours, and at the end of her ordeal, Coco was told that she would be put on bail while the crimes were investigated. 

‘It was an absolute emotional whirlwind of a day and by the end, I was feeling in such a depressed,  bad state. I was quite suicidal,’ says Coco.

After being at the police station, Coco was released on bail for 30 days…then another 30 days... and then released pending further investigation. The case was left open ended and so Coco had no closure on her relationship or on the potential charges she faced. 

This all  had a really negative impact on Coco’s mental health. She worried that if she broke the law for the smallest offence – such as littering – it could result in her being taken into custody until her bail date was up.

To help cope with the stress, worry and loss of self-worth and confidence that goes with domestic abuse, Coco turned to running.  It was not easy initially, but over time, it really helped. It gave  Coco physical and mental freedom, while her life was on hold and she waited the results of the investigation. 

‘Running just felt so good every time,’ says Coco. ‘For me, running is always a kind of mindfulness. I have my favourite playlist on. And when I run, I can’t keep a train of thought in place for very long. So sure, things popped in to my head, but equally, I’d see a dog… or something funny…or hear a favourite part of song. Quickly, I’d be able to get out of negative headspace.
 

‘The exercise was quite life-changing,’ she explains.  

Coco left her partner when she realised he was being unfaithful. With hindsight though, she says that someone cheating on you is not nice, but the fact she stayed so long when he was being emotionally - and on one occasion physically - abusive makes Coco most upset.

Advising other people who are in/or have been in emotionally-abusive relationships, which is known as “gaslighting” – Coco recommends: ‘If someone tries to change your behaviour or frighten you out of doing anything for no good reason, talk to a friend,…get a second opinion…because you can begin to doubt your own judgement.

‘I don’t think I’d have ended up in this situation if it wasn’t for COVID. We just gravitated to each other out of loneliness and convenience,’ she explains. 

Coco is convinced that if it wasn’t for running, she wouldn’t be around today. ‘That’s a very hard thing to say, but it’s true. Exercise saved my life.’